Juliet finally brought her lips closer to mine…
7:00am ….and my mother had already dragged me out of my fantasies of kissing Juliet in dream land . “Get ready for church” she yelled. I had no other option than to do as she said or else, I’d have received a slap so brief that my lips would be too numb to kiss Juliet. We had to make the 9:00am mass, and as a family, else I’d have received another dozen slaps for being late.
7:25am ….and I was in the shower. The warm water on my body reminding me that my dodo was going to be hot and golden brown in the afternoon. NO DODO FOR ME IF I DIDN’T GO TO CHURCH! That just gingered me to wash my kporon as quickly as I could. Suddenly, I wanted to go to church! Sunday rice and DODO after church was always the best. I had a mental plan already.. It was Church! Sunday rice and DODO after church! Then I’ll change into my fresh new “Dodo Gang Army” tee and use it to toast Juliet on Skype. If all goes well, we’ll definitely perform Sexual Dodo Part 3 later. I like Juliet because she’s trendy and, I know she reads DodoTrendz by Amarachi on Fridays and as a bahd goiz, I can definitely recommend it for other babes tooo. Don’t sha be looking like Juliet at the end of the day! Ah! Juliet can fry dodo for dayssssssss.
7:32am …. Romeeeeeoooooooo! Romeeeeeeooooo! Momc was already shouting! “You know that I’ll leave you if you’re not ready by 8:30″…. She killed my Juliet ginger again. ‘Scores is 2-0 ma’ I thought to myself… We always had to leave home 30 minutes before the service started so we can get a good parking space and also to sit in front, so I don’t sleep while the pastor threw subs at me. Everything was almost perfect for my mother, sitting in front also meant that I wont get to chat with Juliet on my blackberry. Scores became 3-0!
7:45am… and I almost wore my Dodo Gang tee to church, I just put it on to test again, asper buff goiz, I just did 50 Push ups, I needed to see what it looked like with my pumped chest… then she entered..”Gini??” she started! “Biko, you know that you cannot wear that shirt to church with me, you better make sure you look like a gentleman. The shirt is fine, but NO WAY! Your father is calling you sha.. She stumbled out before I could say Juliet
I went to meet her husband, he wanted me to go and put his agbada and fine shoe in the car before his wife entered Stealth voltron mode.
8:15am… and a nigga was looking fresh enough to make all the girls want to be Juliet! My mother was smiling at her son, she knew the boy was dripping swaaaagu! Don’t worry, I wont tell you people what I wore, you’d have to ask Juliet for that! Chale, my head burst when I saw Juliet in church, she was looking toooo nice. Too too nice,figure h’8 toh bad, skin fresh like Sunday Dodo. Uncle Sam was at arm’s length once he saw Juliet. Uncle Sam the stubborn rod! …….D*ck!
9:15am….and the pastor had started throwing the regular subs. Today, he was preaching about forgiveness and then I realized that I had been keeping Mummy-Juliet scores all day.. I decided to forgive my mother and reset the scores to 0-0…ONLY after Sunday Rice & Dodo had been consumed.. It was like a Sunday ritual. Everyone anticipated it! My father especially
11:15am…Church ended and we headed home! Once we got home, my mother knew it was time for Sunday Dodo and I knew I had to be prepared for it. So, I went to my room and put on my Dodo Gang Army shirt.. My chest and arms looking much smaller now, but I didn’t mind cus I was goin to represent the shirt soon.
12:15pm… DODO WAS READY!.. I was smiling from ear to ear, my mother had been forgiven and the scoreline had been reset. I ate the Jollof and asked for more, she smiled as she gave me an extra chicken with the rice. You already know extra dodo had to involve tooo. Another thing that made me super happy about the food was the fact that I had to wash only my plate. Thank God for younger siblings!
2:15pm.. I sat in front of my laptop, hoping to Skype with Juliet. Only then did we realize that she was a figment of my imagination, so I decided to post this… At least I have my Sunday rice and DODO after Church to thank God and turn up for. Thank God It’s Sunday!
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